How to Deal with Gossip That Hurts You

Unfortunately in life, there will always be gossips. Sometimes this gossip is easy to look over and sometimes it can tarnish your reputation. If you find out someone has broken trust and told your deepest secrets and you've become the talk of the town, you will have to decide how to handle the matter. No one likes their reputation being twisted and degraded by people you don't even know. How do you handle this unfair gossip and betrayal?

You have placed trust in someone, by sharing with them, your innermost thoughts. You feel the pain of betrayal and the loss of trust.

Should you confront the person or let it go?

This is a personal choice, but if the issue keeps eating at you, it's much better to confront the person you trusted and see why they betrayed you. You trusted them as a confidante and you'll have to make the choice whether to keep this person in your life or let them go. If you don't confront them, you'll hold resentment that you may never let go of.

Don't have the confrontation until you have calmed down. There's no reason for a war to break out between the two of you, even though the temptation might be there. State your feelings tactfully and ask why they told others about your private issue. Listen attentively to gain understanding. This does not mean their reasons are acceptable, but it's important to listen attentively so you can decide if this person should be in your life. Maybe they made a horrible misjudgment and are very remorseful. Maybe they are a habitual blabbermouth who cannot be trusted.

Allow this person to know how their betrayal affected you - how much being the talk of the town and your reputation being tainted, has hurt you. Express your feelings in a genuine manner. Let them know you trusted them with your private innermost thoughts because of how much you thought of them. Express how you were very disappointed and confused because of their betrayal and the violation of your relationship.

How do you regain your credibility?

Trust and betrayal causes a lot of pain. How do you deal with the gossip? That's simple - you don't. Not at least, as far as defending yourself, against those who are gossiping.

Hold your head high. Live by example and allow the gossip that tarnished your reputation, die a natural death. You don't have to defend yourself or your tattered reputation. Just let it be. Those that know you, won't believe the gossip. Those that do, have issues bigger than yours.

Gossipers can be insidious people and they can become a victim of other gossipers themselves. Gossipers feed on gossip. Today you are the talk of the town - next week it will be somebody else's turn.

Cherish your relationships, especially those who have proven trustworthy. They are a rare find. Be mindful of your reputation by living with honor and gossip will never be the victor.

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